Touch Me Not
by Swythangel
Summary: When misunderstandings can tear something special apart...shonen ai.


Author: Swythangel  
  
Email: swythangel@hotmail.com  
  
Title: Touch Me Not  
  
Type: One-shot  
  
Rating: PG –13  
  
Spoilers: None…nothing nada, I think!  
  
Warnings: Shonen Ai  
  
Disclaimer: Megami Kouhosei is owned by Yukiru Sugisaki-sensei and Gum Comics. But if I could I'd grab Ernest, Gareas, Zero and Erts. ^o^v  
  
Dedication: This is for teeza-chan…I hope you like it.^__^ See I actually made one of them fics for your favorite couple…  
  
And no, minna, I have not gone crazy. Normally I wouldn't even dream of this, being a die-hard ZeroxErts and HieadxZero fan but I just thought I'd explore the possibility.  
  
Oh oh anyone who wants to RP please stop by the mailing list at : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/megamikouhoseirpg or visit the site at http://www.geocities.com/megamikouhoseirpg. (Shameless plugging ne? *lol*)  
  
Wkfics will follow! I promise! Really.  
  
Touch Me Not  
  
I see you walking with a group, solitary even in the midst of all those Candidates and Repairers, a silent brooding young man with one of the most intense eyes I have ever seen. Eyes that sear my own with the heat behind them as they suddenly turn to look at me.  
  
I smile in response, one of the benign omni-present smiles that I give to everyone, hoping that you do not realize that I have been thinking about you, not realize that I am affected by you at all.  
  
An answering smile would have eased the tension inside of me.  
  
You do not return it. But then, you never smile.  
  
It is no comfort to know that though. It makes me uncomfortable to be subjected to your concentrated stare. Because it is unlike any stare that has come my way. It spoke of possession, of ownership. Like a branding iron too close to my skin.  
  
The comparison to a branding iron is further strengthened by the color of your eyes…burgundy wine sparkling with reflected light. Like the ones old families in history share over New Year's Eve.  
  
No…the comparison would never stand. Burgundy wine glows warmly, a friendly comforting glow. Your eyes…do not.  
  
It would be better to compare yours to rubies. Ruby eyes…sparkling with hidden depths that have to be perused more closely to appreciate. Beautiful but hard. Stone.  
  
But unlike any rubies, yours burn with an inner flame…a self-consuming flame that scares even me. Even now, without touching you I can feel the rioting emotions, the chaotic thoughts rollicking in the depths of your mind. Even here, a meter away from you, with my mental shields up at maximum, I can hear two overriding thoughts above all else…'failure' and the need, the obsessive need to win.  
  
I have watched you while you battle with the others, watched you almost put Force out of commission. The self-contained emotions spilling out until they shine so brightly, bursting into scintillating whiteness that renders it almost too painful to see with my EX-enhanced senses. Blinding. Like the violent explosion of a star going nova.  
  
I did not want to look at all. But I did.  
  
I was scared then and I am scared now. Scared for you, for what might happen with those self-destructive thoughts and instincts…and as the days pass, scared…  
  
… for me.  
  
Because for the past weeks you have looked my way with that certain look, that certain thought.  
  
/Want you./  
  
I recoil from the thought like the prey recoiling from the predator. The feeling so foreign, so disturbing, so frightening in its intensity.  
  
It is dark and caressing, almost erotic. Erotic…what would a 14 year old boy like me know of such things? I who shrink away from emotional contact. But there was no other way to describe it. It was…erotic.  
  
You never speak of it, you never even talk to me at all. Even when we are in the same room with everyone else. It is only when we pass each other in the hallways, like we are about to do, do those ruby eyes seek mine out for just a few seconds to convey those thoughts.  
  
/Want you./  
  
Two words…how harmless they seem but they throw me out of synch coupled with the heated gaze of ruby eyes. Eyes that grow hotter the nearer you get to me, the nearer I approach.  
  
I want to turn the other way, to run as fast as my feet can take me…anywhere just as long as it is out of your range. But I do not. I never run away.  
  
So I walk, ever nearer to you. The intensity of your eyes burning into mine, hypnotic in their intensity. I cannot help it anymore. The mask of amiability stays in place but my eyes which stay fixed on yours tell a different story.  
  
/Why?/ My eyes questioned.  
  
/Because…/  
  
Because what? It was as cryptic an answer as I expected coming from you. It didn't answer my question. But the hidden thoughts that danced along with your answer somehow gave me an inkling…  
  
Winning, failure, second best…and something else…a too small voice crying out for something…something I do not wait to decipher because of one realization…  
  
/You do not want me, Hiead Gner. You want to challenge me./  
  
I should not be surprised. I am after all Erts Virny Cocteau, Candidate No. 5, the Top Candidate. It is inevitable that you want to do so. To be the best you have to defeat the one who holds that distinction. No one though has ever used desire to get it from me. Anger flashes through me.  
  
Crimson eyes flicker but you do not answer. The silence, palpable in its intensity, is answer enough for me.  
  
It is a sign of assent.  
  
For some unknown reason, it has become hard to breath and my eyesight wavers, causing me to stumble.  
  
"Erts!"  
  
"Erts!"  
  
I do not hear the cries of my name, all I can see is your hand almost reaching out to help me up and faster than anything, I draw back, almost shouting in your mind. /Do not touch me! Never touch me!/  
  
It is an instinctive reaction, one I have cultivated for so long that I do not even think on it. I can tell by your thoughts that you are hurt by it. And I am surprised. Why should you be hurt by anything I do?  
  
But there it is. Hurt. By me. Why?  
  
Even before I form that thought, you answer me, withdrawing the hand you have held out.  
  
/As you wish./  
  
You are hurt…How could I have done that?  
  
I process the events that have just happened, trying to make sense of it all. I focus on the small voice I had almost heard when your thoughts touched mine but I am interrupted by a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Erts, daijobu ka?*"  
  
I turn my head to find warm familiar brown eyes smiling back at me. The only person who can touch me. Zero…  
  
His eyes are as unlike yours as they could be. In his eyes I see a warm haven. A chaotic whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that are, to be honest, no less complex than yours are, but in them I see something different. In them I see nothing less than the acceptance of who I am. Or more to the point…he does not care a fig on who or what I am.  
  
In those eyes I can forget you for a moment. I smile at him. "Aa, Zero. Daijobu."  
  
Forget…but only for a moment as your emotions make themselves known to me. Strange how attuned I am to them.  
  
I turn my head to find you staring at me and Zero with an unreadable look in your eyes before you turn your back and leave.  
  
The last thoughts I glean from you is that of my thoughts: /Do not touch me!/, of Zero's hand touching me…and disillusionment. And then there is nothing. You slam down your shields and leave me with nothing to go by.  
  
I see now. The ease by which I could read your mind before had been purely voluntary on your part. You *wanted* me to be able to read you. It was your way of calling out.  
  
And I did not see it. More the fool am I.  
  
I need to set things straight.  
  
"Anou…I forgot something in the hangar." I tell the others.  
  
"I'll come with you." Zero, ever helpful Zero offers. But I shake my head, smiling at him as I did so.  
  
"Thank you but there is no need. I'll only be a while." And with that I run off to the hangars…to where you are heading.  
  
"Hiead! Matte!**" I cry out as soon as I see the telltale silver hair shining in the darkness of the hallway.  
  
You didn't even turn around. /Do not come near me. Ever./  
  
It is said with a force that drives it home. One meant to hurt.  
  
And it did. Very much.  
  
Though I do not blame you for it.  
  
You reached out to me in the only way you knew how, feelings hidden in so many layers of deceptive motives. I didn't know enough to understand it for what it was when I should have.  
  
You gave me a chance and I threw it away. And Hiead Gner doesn't give second chances. That much I know.  
  
Tears burn my eyes again. For all that is worth I whisper at your retreating form: "Gomen ne, Hiead."  
  
You never looked back.  
  
~OWARI~  
  
^__~;; ehehehe…I hope I didn't stretch the imagination too much? I find it hard to write HieadxErts and this seemed to be the more plausible plotline. Next time I'm going back to ZeroxErts and GareasxErnest *nods*  
  
Comments? I'd like to know if it sucks in your opinion or if its ok ^__^ 


End file.
